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| Welcome to "Consider This blog" where seniors and the people who love them, can post their thoughts, ideas and concerns about aging in America. Each week I will be posting addtional thoughts about the theme of my column, "Consider This" in Sonoma Seniors Today, a monthly newspaper published by the Council on Aging. I hope that my column and blogging will provide the material for a rich exchange of ideas. Aging is tough work in a society that idolizes youth. It is time to create a new one that embraces wisdom, experience, gray hair and wrinkles! |
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| October 3, 2007 |
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These days in Sonoma County we are talking a great deal about legalized gambling with the threat of more casinos being built. In June Council on Aging sponsored an American Society on Aging Training on “Problem Gambling and Older Adults”, where I learned a great deal more about a problem I already knew existed.
Americans gamble more each year than they spend on groceries, spending 600 billion dollars annually. Older adults form the largest group of annual visitors to Las Vegas and spend the majority of gambling dollars. According to the Gambling Impact and Behavior Study, 1999, between 1975 and 1998, the over 65 age group experienced the greatest increase in gambling.
Back in 1975 there were only 14 states where you could participate in legalized gambling, now in 2007 there are 42 states where gambling in legalized. Problem gambling among older adults has devastating results on lives, including loss of a lifetime of saved income, and suicide.
Older adults are particularly at risk for becoming problem gamblers. They are targeted by the gambling industry as a large consumer group; they have increased free time, accumulated wealth, which is compounded with social isolation. Other risk factors include pressure from friends to gamble, desire for sociability, changes in social roles, need for more money, proximity to gambling venues, and attractive and alluring incentives (e.g., free drinks and meals).
Gambling provides acceptance, inclusion, excitement, entertainment and an answer to boredom. For many older adults gambling is a way to escape problems, such as poor health, depression or anxiety disorders and loss of a spouse or partner. Problem gamblers are often trying to seek control in an uncontrollable environment. They are five to ten times more likely to attempt suicide.
Problem gambling leads to psychological, social, financial and societal problems. It is a hidden addiction because of the lack of physical symptoms. Problem gamblers are not addicted to a substance, but rather to an “action” and the excitement associated with that action. Compared to younger problem gamblers, older problem gamblers are more likely to suffer economic losses from which they can’t easily recover due to their fixed incomes and retirement.
An Attorney General’s Report in California sited that there are over 1.5 million adults and minors who have gambling addictions and there was a 25% increase in older adult calls to gambling hotlines between 1999-2003.
Gambling refers to any game of chance or skill that involves financial risk including the Lottery, casino games, racetrack betting, sports betting, card rooms, raffles, stock market and internet gambling.
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| Read More of "Problem Gambling and Older Adults" |
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| August 1, 2007 |
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Americans are obsessed with food. We count calories, we count fat, and at any given time a third of us are on a diet, yet each year obesity has risen significantly over the last 15 years. In fact, it has doubled. So what gives? We simply don’t know how to eat. We don’t know how to enjoy food and fellowship in a way that is healthy.
We make poor food choices when we reach for processed foods, fast foods that are laden with transfats and simple carbohydrates that are killers. And the portion sizes of food have tripled in the last 10 years. The average American consumes almost 3,500 calories per day; most of those calories are from poor nutrition sources, such as sodas, fast food, etc.
The Food industry is at least partially to blame with its marketing and packaging practices and its gradual increase of sodium, high fructose corn syrup and other corn and soy derivatives. Not unlike the tobacco industry that hooked people on cigarettes by gradually increasing nicotine, the food industry has done the same.
What can we do to reclaim the simple pleasures of eating good food in season with people we love? What can we do to stop this unhealthy obsession with food that is destroying our health and our happiness? What are your ideas?
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| July 24, 2007 |
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During my recent visit to the Lake District in England, my father-in-law, George Kingston, hiked up a 1,000 foot hill and hiked 5 miles around a lake on a rugged, swampy trail. He is almost 88 years old and I have been watching him age for the last few years. I have been able to do my own independent study of health and aging in the United Kingdom through my numerous trips to England.
Universal Healthcare was adopted in England when the World War II Veterans came home wounded and insisted on it. When Margaret Thatcher came into power she virtually undid almost all of the government programs with the exception of The National Healthcare System. She knew she would be quickly voted out of office if she touched it.
I have been a believer in Universal Healthcare for over ten years. I believe we have come to a point in our history as a nation when we simply can’t afford to not have it. People’s lives are at stake and the underlying values of the medical profession are being eroded so that the self interests of industry profits can be satisfied.
Every day across the United States families, men, women, children and seniors experience healthcare crises. With 40 million people in America without even basic healthcare insurance these crises often lead to homelessness, bankruptcy and loss of home ownership. The material losses simply cannot measure the emotional losses and stress that accompany them; depression, anxiety, despair and sometimes suicide.
Ten years ago when Hilary Clinton tried to restructure healthcare in America about 40% of Americans believed we needed a national healthcare program. Today that figure has risen to over 70% of Americans. We simply are no longer buying the myth that socialized medicine is bad for us because the facts bear otherwise.
A 2000 year report by the World Health Organization put the United States 37th out of 190 nations in health care services -- between Costa Rica and Slovenia. The 36 countries that have lower infant mortality and greater longevity all have one thing in common; they have a form of universal healthcare. This ranking of the US also explodes the myth that we have the best medical care in the world.
The only universal healthcare program we have, Medicare, is now being privatized; it is being financially tapped by private HMO’s and the pharmaceutical industry through the Medicare Prescription Drug Plan. Medicare has less than 2% overhead but our current system of private insurance has 25% to 30% overhead. It is no surprise that we pay more for healthcare than any other country in the world with that kind of obscene profit margin.
Another “myth” that has long been circulated is the myth of waiting for procedures. A recent study demonstrated that if you have a serious disease, such as cancer, you will wait longer for surgery in the US than you will for surgery in Canada. The wait for elective surgeries in Canada is longer, but then again, those are not life threatening!
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| Read More of "Universal Healthcare is a Moral Necessity" |
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| March 12, 2007 |
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My sister and brother in law lost their beloved 22 year old nephew in Baghdad this month. He was a Marine on special security patrol. He was very sick, running a high fever, but did not want to make a fuss since he felt called to always being on duty to protect his fellow Marine. Apparently he was so sick that he died back at the base, probably from congestive heart failure, but the autopsy results are not yet in. His father is angry and wants to know why his son did not get the medical attention he so desperately needed. And we all have to wonder if he died due to lack of sufficient support.
My dad was a Marine in World Wart II. He flew very dangerous missions in the South Pacific as a crew chief. He won the Distinguished Flying Cross and we always had a bumper sticker on our old Dodge that said, “Once a Marine, Always a Marine.” My 18 year old son, who never knew my father because he died young, has a bumper sticker on his Dodge truck that says “Semper Fi US Marine Core”. I just discovered this the other day. I am touched and proud.
Last weekend, I had the house to myself on a Friday night, while my stepdaughter and husband were out on a Daddy date. I was sitting on the bed watching the Public Television's Jim Lehrer News Hour, when they did the roll call of the military that lost their lives in Iraq that week. They silently show their photos with their name, rank, age and hometown. Ritchie Quill, my sister’s nephew appeared on the screen and I gasped then sobbed, overcome with emotion, the war came home to meet me that day.
Then last week, Jane Doroff, Director of Senior Nutrition, and I had the once a year privilege when we go to Portrait Artist Harvey Henningsen‘s studio to view the portrait photos he took of three of our Meals on Wheels clients. One of the clients was Jane’s 87 year old neighbor who has recently been on Meals on Wheels. Gary was also a World War II veteran, a navy man who was in combat in the South Pacific. Jane had the bright idea of bringing in a folded flag and in some of the photos Gary was holding the flag. Harvey put up on the screen a photo of Gary holding the flag over his heart with a look in his eyes that told you he was back “there” again on that boat in the Pacific. Once again I was overcome and did not hold back the tears. (See page 5 of this month's Sonoma Seniors Today to see this picture.)
When my son David has talked to me about joining the Marines, I have said that I would be very proud if he did, but please wait until this war is over as I could not bear to lose him.
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| Read More of "The Tragedy of War" |
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| January 19, 2007 |
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A few weeks ago I was speaking at a Rotary Club in Sebastopol. The topic was ``How to Age Successfully and Remain Sexy.'' I confess I threw in the ``sexy'' part in order to grab their attention. I leaned into the podium and asked, ``Do you really want to know the key to successful aging?''
The room became silent. I paused, and then said, ``Stop paying so much attention to your cholesterol and start paying attention to gratitude and forgiveness in your life.''
This little discovery was the result of a 10-year Harvard College study that researched what it takes to age in a positive and healthy manner.
With all of the focus on material gifts during the holidays, sometimes the best gifts we can give to others and ourselves are overlooked.
Gratitude comes from contentment. To be content with our circumstances, relationships, health and possessions at any moment in our lives is the secret to finding joy as well. I remember living in a small apartment in Chicago, then later in Los Angeles. We had few material belongings, and we were living in rough inner-city neighborhoods. But I was content because I found sheer joy in my work as a minister.
Forgiveness may be the ultimate spiritual task for us all. It is gut-wrenchingly difficult. It demands empathy, humility, an open heart and a conscious choice to forgive regardless of what our emotions tell us. It is a process, not a point in time, but that process frees us in a way that nothing else can.
The alternative is bitterness, disappointment, anger, resentment and hostility. All of which can strangle a healthy life both emotionally and physically.
Experience has taught me that forgiveness is never cheap. When the person who commits an offense against us or harms us in some way does not take responsibility for wrongdoing or fails to be remorseful, it is incredibly difficult. We are left with the choice of holding onto the pain and anger or letting it go for the sake of our health.
In this instance, forgiveness becomes about self love. I choose to forgive because I know it is the best thing for me to do, not because the wrongdoer deserves my forgiveness. In the process, we sometimes find empathy for the person who harmed us or, at the least, pity.
The holiday season often brings to mind memories of painful past relationships or disappointments. They are joyous times for many and grievous times as well. I hope during this holiday season, whether you are alone or in the company of many, that there will be opportunity to find reasons to be grateful -- for a smile, a hot meal, the kindness of strangers, a daffodil bulb or pretty lights.
I hope it will also be a time for forgiveness, because whether you are Jewish, Christian, Muslim or something other, the message of grace rings true for us all -- the grace of the divine, the grace we give to others and the grace we give ourselves.
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| Read More of "Forgiveness" |
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A couple of weeks ago I attended the Reverend Coffee Human Rights Awards. I was privileged to present the award I received last year in the Professional category to Jim Foster, a family therapist who started a nonprofit organization called Positive Images for teens struggling with their sexual identity. Dozens of kids, as well as their parents, have attended groups and counseling through Positive Images, kids who identify as gay, lesbian, transgender or bisexual. These teens are at the highest risk for committing suicide. There is no doubt in my mind that Jim has been responsible for literally saving the lives of some of these kids.
I also had the privilege that evening of meeting State Senator Mark Leno from San Francisco, the keynote speaker. He does not hide the fact that he gay. He told a story about two elderly men who had been life partners for over 50 years. That is fifty years of living together through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. When one of the partners died very suddenly of a heart attack a couple of years ago, the surviving partner was left without the Social Security benefits and the pension of his deceased loved one, simply because the state did not recognize their union as a legal one. Thus, the surviving elderly gentleman is now struggling to get by on his low Social Security benefits and without the benefit of his life partner’s pension; he would have had access to both had they been “married” in the eyes of the State.
During my years as CEO of the Council on Aging, I have received many heartbreaking letters from gay and lesbian seniors, seniors who have lived their lives in secrecy for fear of being rejected by their families and loved ones. I can only imagine the toll on one’s emotional life when you have to hide a significant part of your identity.
This is why I stood up at a recent City Planning Commission Meeting to support the building of the Fountaingrove Lodge, one of the first continuing care retirement communities marketing to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. Though it has yet to be built, it is already filling up with reservations. Perhaps the most significant thing that the Fountaingrove Lodge will do is provide a safe place to age for people who have felt ostracized most of their lives.
The suicide risk not only affects gay and lesbian teens. Not long ago, a beloved donor and friend of the Council on Aging took her own life when she found she could not get beyond the grief of losing her lifetime partner to cancer. I had recommended to her many times that she join a hospice or bereavement support group, but she declined to do so. I believe that, as a 71-year-old lesbian woman, she was afraid to come out to a group of strangers. It simply had not been acceptable in her generation.
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| Read More of "Love Thy Neighbor" |
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| August 10, 2006 |
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Sixteen years ago my life changed dramatically in a matter of seconds. I was sitting in one of those sterile, cold, examining rooms when the doctor read the lab report from a mole that had been removed. “Malignant Melanoma, right shoulder,” he said dryly. I was so stunned, I asked him to read it again.
I don’t remember driving home that day. I only remember the first thing I did upon arriving. I picked up the phone and called my mom in Southern California. The words that came out of my mouth felt like they should belong to someone else. “I have cancer mom. I’m scared.” I was a thirty-year old mother and my baby had just begun to walk. I was young and looked and felt healthy. So how could I suddenly be facing this unseen enemy that could steal my life away?
During the next few months I underwent tests and had extensive surgery on my shoulder. The day I received the final biopsy report was a very dark one in spite of the fact that it had come back negative and it appeared that I would be OK. However, it was finally safe to face my reality. I had become a member of a group I had no interest in belonging to; a cancer patient. I sat on by backyard deck and looked at my barren rosebushes in the smoldering heat of August. Life felt so fragile and the innocence of my youth was gone forever.
Despite years of research, cancer remains the second leading cause of death in the United States. It takes a horrible toll on families.
But the loss of life does not tell all… behind every diagnosis is another story, stories of great courage, love, hope, and strength.
Life threatening diseases such as cancer can teach us something profound. Cancer taught me to live life more fully. It taught me to stop and wonder, laugh loudly and often with friends and to live with unbridled abundance.
A few years later when I became a hospital chaplain and family therapist, I discovered that my ability to speak from my personal experience of facing a life threatening disease gave me credibility that I otherwise would not have had.
The indomitable beauty and strength of the human spirit has been evident in one of our employees at the Council on Aging who was diagnosed with breast cancer in March. She missed a whole six days of work after a double mastectomy. When she began chemotherapy treatments she shaved her head and now sports a different colorful tattoo on her bald head each morning. Her courage, positive attitude and sense of humor inspired nine of us to attend a fundraiser recently for the Sutter Breast Care Center.
Cancer cells may have the potential to destroy the physical body, but there is something so much greater that can never be swallowed up by this disease, something so potent that it will never surrender to those dysfunctional cells, something that will never die; the tenacity of the human spirit and the hope that sustains it.
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| July 20, 2006 |
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For many years now I have noticed that drivers have lost respect for the right of way of pedestrians. I‘ve had many close calls with cars myself and I am an able bodied adult. It appears that driver aggression, as studies report, is continuing to increase. I think it is ultimately a case of values, misplaced values in our society that have bred this dangerous dilemma facing all pedestrians, but especially our most vulnerable walkers.
Speed and living life at an accelerated rate are the values of today’s society. We are also filling our lives with too many distractions. The use of cell phones while driving has increased dramatically and in correlation, so have accidents.
However, the thing that disturbs me the most about the driving abuses in crosswalks is the lack of respect I see among individuals. Why are we not respecting each other? Why don’t we respect the basic human right of safety? Why are we not considering that “other life” in a way that molds and affects our behavior?
Violence in all forms of entertainment continues to increase; movies, television, computer games, etc. Many families no longer attend any organized religious services and fail to talk about spiritual values and how they are connected to moral values. Manners and chivalry are in decline. It amazes me how often I go to a store and I am not thanked by the employee after making a purchase.
And the rapid increase in technology has bred an impatient society that is intolerant of waiting. Speed is everything in technology, but sadly, the dark side of this is that we are becoming a culture of attention deficit individuals. Patience may be a virtue, but there is a real absence of it in a culture that values efficiency over human beings and relationships.
We all need to slow down, to look and pay attention to those sacred souls in crosswalks, but we also need a rigorous examination of our values and how they are manifested in our daily behavior.
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| June 21, 2006 |
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We believe that Social Security is the cornerstone of income security for retirees, survivors, disabled workers and their families in this nation and we are committed to ensuring its future. Social Security is not in crisis. With modest adjustments, Social Security will continue to provide our children and grandchildren with the same secure, life-long, inflation-protected foundation of retirement security.
Social Security's projected shortfall after 2042 is manageable and can be corrected with responsible changes in revenue sources and/or benefits. Drastic changes, however, particularly the division of payroll taxes to personal retirement investment accounts,would worsen solvency, reduce Social Security benefits, expose beneficiaries to unnecessary risk and would erode the qualities that mark Social Security's success. These include the systems' universality, efficiency, progressive benefits, equity and the promise of benefits as an earned right.
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| June 20, 2006 |
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| We believe that the cost of prescription drugs is prohibitive and that the industry has enjoyed remarkable profit margins of 32% at the expense of consumers, especially seniors who often need more prescriptions. Moreover the industry has endangered the health of seniors by blocking the supply of prescription drugs to Americans through Canada, has spent billions of dollars on marketing and lobbying, and has not acted as good corporate citizens. Thus, we chose to become partners pf Prescription Access Litigation (PAL), a national program working to make prescription drug prices more affordable, using class action litigation and public education. |
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